


Ain't Ashamed if I don't See no Sun

by KaelsMiscellany



Series: Amárantos [4]
Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Anubis laughs, Canon-Typical Violence, Death, Demi!Than, M/M, Mid game, Minor canon divergence, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Slight spoilers, Than POV, Than pines, a smidge of blood, either way there's some ThanZag sex..., fite me, idk if it's a blowjob or a facefuck, post-epilogue, pre-game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27520744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaelsMiscellany/pseuds/KaelsMiscellany
Summary: Thanatos doesn’t quite understand the concept of ‘gifts.’ To be fair, this isn’t his fault.
Relationships: Hades/Persephone (Hades Video Game), Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game), background Meg/Zag
Series: Amárantos [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1976068
Comments: 29
Kudos: 221





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the next part of Amárantos! Where it's all Than all the time. laughs
> 
> Also welcome to me allowing myself anachronisms! In this case using 'Greek' as a collective term, even though Greece doesn't actually exist yet...
> 
> Title comes from “Who needs the sunshine?” by The Heavy.
> 
> Also as a CW for this chapter: There're a brief mention of genocide, as well as implied rape/abuse (if you want to avoid that bit, just skip to the next scene when you hit "Not that he had much time for ‘home.’". Although I'd at least read the last paragraph in that section). The second to last scene also deals w/ Zag's birth, so you're welcome to skip to the next scene if that bothers you.

Thanatos didn’t really have a childhood, not in the way the mortals would reckon it, at least. True, the first few hundred years—not that there was exactly time as such yet—of his existence were not marked by anything in particular. But it was not a childhood.

It mainly consisted of wandering Tartarus, with Hypnos, Hecate, and Nemesis; their only light Hecate’s flickering torch. If they were lucky, Chaos visited. Above them they could always hear their cousins: crying, screaming, raging, begging and pleading to be free of their prison. Thanatos and his siblings were not trapped as their cousins were, but Nyx and Erebus kept them hidden away in Tartarus regardless.

Otherwise there was not much of anything to do, with their parents more focused on putting the Underworld in order. Which made no sense at the time, for nothing had ever died yet. Thanatos would have known.

One day, or night, Nyx was gone.

Thanatos felt a strange pull unlike any he had ever felt before. It only took him a blink to follow it. To a place bright, so very bright that he could barely see.

Yet soon enough he held the soul of Ouranos in his hands, or as much of a soul as the sky itself could have. He watched Cronus pull the scythe out of Ouranos’ body, an almost manic light in his eye. “Cousin.”

Thanatos said nothing, only returned to the underworld.

Mother kissed the top of his head, and praised him for a job well done, as she tucked a blood filled vial into the folds of her peplos. Then she let him, and Hypnos, go. “Your cousin has given you a gift, make good use of it.”

-

The Gigantes die in so many ways. They love some, and hate others; but Thanatos cannot tell the difference between the two, their cruelty doled out equally to both. Thanatos was there for each death—as much as he found himself disliking the brightness of Helios—carrying them down to the Styx and his brother Charon. Whom he had never met until things began to die, Charon having already left mother and father to chart every inch of the Underworld’s rivers.

Father Erebus began to...dissipate, it was not really death, but there was a giving up of body. Mother and Chaos grew more distant, and Thanatos found himself with a whole host of new siblings thanks to it: Eris, Moros, Momus, Oizys, Apate, Geras, and on and on. A host of children who joined him and Hypnos among the Gigantes to do their own work.

Above them all reigned the Titans, uncaring of their mortal siblings—for the Gigantes sprang from Ouranos’ blood, just as the Meliae and Titans had. Cronus personally more concerned with the last words of Ouranos: that one of his children would overthrow him as he overthrew Ouranos.

Thanatos' younger siblings gleefully told of how Cronus had eaten the sons Rhea had given him, and some of the other Titan’s children as well, just to be safe.

-

For the first time Thanatos went to the halls upon Mount Othrys, realm of the Titans, somehow it was even brighter than the surface.

He entered a feasting hall, finding it hosted not a group of party guests, but adults—as the mortals reckoned it—covered in nothing but blood and viscera. Five of them, still as statues, their eyes not seeming to register anything, their bodies shaking and shivering.

At the far end of the hall, a youth pulled a familiar scythe from Cronus’ split belly, sending a fresh stream of blood and gore flowing. Thanatos gathered his cousin’s soul, and prepared to leave.

“Wait.” The youth’s voice was like thunder; and curious, Thanatos floated over.

To his surprise, the youth thrust Cronus’ scythe at him. “The Fates told me I was to gift this to you.” His teeth were somehow still white, despite the blood covering his face. “Which is probably for the best.” He slapped Thanatos on the shoulder, Thanatos was unmoved. “Wouldn’t want any of my future sons to get any bright ideas.”

Thanatos wouldn’t know.

-

So began the Titanomachy. 

Which gave Thanatos quite a lot of work. 

Despite that, he only knew the war in its broad strokes: the Olympian brothers and their Titaness cousins freeing the Hecatonchires and Cyclopes—who spent the next ten years forging the weapons that will win the Olympians the war. Even before then lesser Titans fell, or gave way to the wills of their children.

The Cyclopes presented their weapons: sword and shield, spear and bow, gauntlets and rail. And for the nephews that freed them: a helm, a trident, and lightning.

The Titans were dead, long live the Olympians.

-

It wasn’t truly a surprise that he was not welcome upon Olympus. For these new gods might call themselves ‘deathless,’ but _he_ could kill them. None of them wanted the reminder. Hypnos would tell him he wasn’t really missing much.

So he went where he was welcome. Although the Underworld was different now, if still peacefully dark, with Hades as its ruler instead of Nyx. Hades was focused on learning from Nyx how the Underworld should be, how to be a good ruler to the dead. Thanatos was glad his mother had remained, that Hades had respected her enough to grant her that.

Thanatos was gifted a room of his own in Tartarus. For he served the House, even as he was not a part of it, or even sworn to Hades. But that was something no one chose to mention.

He didn’t quite know _why_ he was given a room, it was not as if he needed sleep, or a place to rest in any fashion. He was Death. He accepted anyways, it was a place to be in when he did not work. Four grey walls, a bed never slept in. Home, the mortals would call it.

-

Not that he had much time for ‘home.’ For the Gigantes had no respect for the new gods, for their new laws. Too used to the absolute freedom they had had under the Titans, now the Olypmians sought to _forbid_ things? The Gigantes would not stand for it.

So the Gigantes died.

There was something to be said for the Olympian’s—and their still living Titan allies—dedication. For within a year not a single Gigante lived.

Hades complained, no one beyond those in the House paid any attention to said complaints. Mother sent Hecate up to Olympus, and with her and Prometheus’ help they created mortal humans. And Hecate returned a handful of Meliae in tow, nymphs seeking peace after the horrors wrought upon them by Titan and Gigante alike.

Hades allows them to drink of the Lethe and eat the roots of Asphodel, and they were reborn Lampades.

Nemesis, too, finally left Tartarus. And one night, or day, Thanatos spotted his mother carrying a vial of blood and descending into Erebus.

She returned, new sisters in tow: Megaera, Tisiphone, and Alecto. Thanatos barely had any time to greet them and welcome them to the family before Nemesis returned, snatching the sisters away to take them under her wings and teach them. Mother kissed each daughter in turn and told them to be good, and serve their purposes well.

There was trouble too: for Hecate and Prometheus had also imprisoned their more ill-fortuned siblings at the behest of the Olympians, much to Nyx’s displeasure. Thanatos was sure that if they’d had the courage to do so, he’d be in that jar right alongside his siblings.

-

But the Olympians left him alone, so these mortals, these _humans_ , would die as the Gigantes had.

It was a farming accident, a poorly swung scythe—the symmetry did not escape Thanatos—cutting deeply into a thigh, and the humans knew nothing of medicine yet to even try and stop the rush of blood.

Thanatos braved the sunlight, squinting against its brightness as he walked through the field towards the dying human. 

He gathered the soul with care, as he always did. It seemed a far more fragile thing than the souls of the Gigantes or Titans had been, as if the sharpest of breaths might tear it to shreds. Yet it held together, as if some ineffable stubbornness prevented otherwise.

He made to leave, but a fluttering caught his eye. Turning he saw a butterfly. Without thought he found himself holding his hand out.

The butterfly landed. Its wings flapped slowly, revealing and hiding the deep purple eye spots, and he felt a tickle as it moved closer into his palm.

The sensation shocked him into movement, and the soul he carried wiggled out of his grasp as he floated on the bank of the Styx. Charon groaned out a greeting, and seemed to express as much surprise as Thanatos felt over the still-living butterfly.

-

It did not live long, because that was the way of butterflies. With the same care he showed mortal souls, he brought it down to the workshop of the Cyclopes.

Arges took it, examining it carefully with his eye. “What do you want done with it, cousin?”

“I want it preserved,” Thanatos shrugged. “I do not quite care how. You are the craftsmen, not I.”

Brontes leaned against his brother’s back, almost forcing him to hunch over so Brontes might get a better look. “Steropes! Get the jeweler’s tools. We’ll make it a brooch.”

Arges rolled his eye, throwing it Olympus-ward for a moment too, for good measure. “We’ll send it over to the House when we finish, cousin.”

“Thank you.”

-

As always, the Cyclopes did sublime work. It looked as if the butterfly might once again jump from his shoulder and take flight.

“Ah, man,” Hypnos near Thanatos’ shoulder, eyeing the brooch with a tired greed. “I wish the Cyclopes would make something for _me_.” He yawned, which barely ruined the wheedling in his voice.

Thanatos didn’t even bother to roll his eyes. “I’m not asking them for you.”

Hypnos yawned again. “Aw, man.”

-

The humans barely got a century of peace.

For it seemed that when Hecate and Prometheus trapped all those ill-spirits in their jar they forgot Eris, worst of them all.

Somehow she managed to spirit the rail away from Lord Hades’ armory—Thanatos was mildly certain Mother had a hand in it. Waging a gleeful, if brief, skirmish upon the Olympians, which resulted in the shattering of the jar.

Thanatos, perhaps, felt a little bad for the humans. 

-

“Well isn’t this awkward?” Thanatos was certain that Ares’ smile would cut, if Thanatos were not older than the young Olympian.

Thanatos bared his own teeth, rattling the chains. “Just get me out of here.” He was already embarrassed enough, being fooled by a _mortal_ —at least with Heracles it’d been a _fight_. Ares didn’t have to rub it in. He narrowed his eyes as the younger god approached. “Why are _you_ here?” He expected his mother, perhaps Hypnos gaining enough bravery to return to the surface—it would have worked, Zeus had long forgotten about Hera’s treachery over Semele—Hades perhaps, considering how dire the situation was.

Ares tested the edge of his blade carelessly. “War just isn’t _fun_ when they don’t die, Thanatos.” He raised his makhaira above his head and brought the weapon down on the chains. His weapon might have been forged by Haphaesus, but these chains were forged by the Cyclopes, and proved their better worth. Ares frowned. “Well then.”

Thanatos rolled his eyes. “Sysiphus has the key,” he said tersely.

“Yes, well, I’m not sure I’m willing to brave your _delightful_ sisters, Thanatos. I do love bloodshed, but what they do…” Ares shuddered.

Something akin to a grin crossed Thanatos’ face, surprised, and yet pleased, that his sisters had come to his aid—though considering all that Sysiphus had done, perhaps it wasn’t a surprise. “Send Hermes,” he suggested. “He’s quick enough he likely won’t see a thing to scar his poor, godly eyes.”

Ares’ own eyes narrowed. Clearly not liking the suggestion that his half-brother might be more brave than he was. Thanatos honestly didn’t care. “Don’t go anywhere,” Ares told him cheerfully before vanishing.

Rolling his eyes again would be pointless. Instead Thanatos craned his head, squinting when his gaze briefly crossed the sun, checking that his scythe was still where he’d left it. It was. Mortals, thankfully, always seemed to overlook it; never knowing it was perhaps the most powerful weapon in existence. Sysiphus hadn’t spared it a second glance.

“Alright,” Ares reappeared, looking a little sick. “Let’s get you back to work, yeah?” The bloodstained key unlocked the shackles and Thanatos heaved a sigh of relief.

Thanatos didn’t bother to thank Ares, just grabbed his scythe and began to make up for lost time.

-

“There has been an oversight,” Lachesis intoned. “Now we will correct it.” She turned her eyes from her weaving to look at Thanatos, and Ares—who looked quite like he wanted to fidget, for it wasn’t every day one was called before the Fates. “Do you agree to this?”

“Yes,” Thanatos answered without thought. He was certain this had to do with the whole Sysiphus debacle—now thankfully fixed. Though he didn’t understand why Ares was there too. But he trusted his eldest sisters.

“Yes,” Ares’ agreement was more hesitant. Understandable, the Olympians had fates, but rarely gave them thought.

Clotho stood, a shuttle in her hands—the finest thread connected it to the great weaving of the Fates.

Thanatos let her approach, and did not even think to defend himself when she raised the shuttle and drove it straight into his heart.

It _hurt_ , in a way Thanatos was unused to feeling. She withdrew the shuttle and Thanatos gasped, stumbling before falling. Despite the pain filling him—even as he healed—he let out of a huff of laughter to see Ares attempt to escape Clotho and her ichor dripping shuttle. Atropos tripped him before he could get far.

To Ares’ credit, he didn’t cry out when he was stabbed either, and only grunted when it was extracted.

The shuttled dripped black and gold as Clotho handed it to Lachesis, who began to weave.

Women, perhaps only the size of Thanatos’ forearm began to appear, their hands and feet reminding him of birds. Their skin ranged from gray to black, and their eyes were a sickly green color that matched their wings. They flew around as birds or bats did, and before he knew it they had all flown away. Ares had managed to vanish too.

Atropos bent over him, kissing Thanatos on the forehead. “Your Keres-daughters, a gift to you, shall handle the violent deaths, little brother. All others shall still be yours. Now sleep.”

-

Thanatos was not surprised that when next he and Ares met—on the fields of Troy—Ares had no recollection of what had occurred with the Fates. In fact he seemed to act as if the Keres had always been around, though he seemed to think them a nuisance more than a help. Attempting to bat them away as they swarmed around him, chittering in a language Thanatos didn’t know.

He turned his back on the battle and strode to the tents where the wounded Greeks were being tended to.

Only to be stopped by a hand curling around his throat from behind, a woman’s voice soon following. “Hello, Thanny-tos-tos.”

“Eris,” he said flatly. Breaking free to turn around. She looked as she always had: her chiton torn and ragged, dark hair ill-kept, her golden eyes almost glowing with power. “What are you doing here?” He found himself cursing that he asked the question at all the moment it left him.

She laughed, it jangled across his nerves in an unsettling fashion. “It’s _my_ war,” she answered with a pleasured sigh. “So many mortals fighting and dying because of _me_ , and oh, how the gods have squabbled. An almost perfect revenge.” Her teeth were jagged as she grinned at him. “Even logical, steadfast _Athena_ bending to my whims.” She sidled closer to him. “Though she wasn’t who I was aiming for, you know,” she told him in a hushed whisper. “But that poor Persephone’s too well protected by Demeter,” Eris spat fire. “Oh, the fun I could have if I could get my claws into _her_.”

Thanatos sighed, so nothing had changed with Eris then. “Not everyone is here to entertain you, Eris.”

In a flash she was upon him, ragged nails digging into his cheeks. “Oh, big brother, Thanny-tos-tos,” she crooned. “Everyone _exists_ to entertain me. Even those darling nieces you’ve had.” She kissed his cheek and it burned like sulfur. “You should have told me you were expecting, I would’ve brought you a _gift_.”

“I have no need for any gift of yours, Eris.” It would be pointless to try and explain he hadn’t known the Keres would be until they were. “Now, I have to go.” Mother never liked it when any of them were rude to their siblings, even Eris.

Eris frowned, but released him. “So boring, Thanny-tos-tos. Hmm, perhaps a good fuck would loosen you up.”

He vanished, deciding her idea wasn’t worth even responding to.

-

Things in the Underworld did not change suddenly, if at all. Except once.

Thanatos handed off a soul to his brother, then let himself vanish down to Tartarus. Perhaps he’d seek Meg out—she and her sisters had been spending more time in the Underworld after the Orestes debacle. He began to make his way over from the West Hall to the Lounge, nodding at Achilles as he floated past.

He was almost to the Lounge when his mind realized _something_ was different. He turned around, and yes, there was an unknown, _living,_ woman petting Cerberus.

Thanatos heard Hades leaving his chamber, coming around the corner, only to stop next to the woman. Bending himself down enough he kissed the top of her head. She turned and gave a warm smile. “Hello, Hades.”

Speak with Megaera, who might know about it? Or risk going to Hypnos, who would _definitely_ know about it, and possibly draw their attention?

Neither, it seemed, for his mother’s voice came from behind him. “Thanatos.”

“Mother,” he turned and inclined his head respectfully.

“Come with me,” her tone brooked no argument. He floated after as she began to glide out the main door, he blinked in surprise to see that the small garden had _grown_ since he’d last seen it. Mother lead him through a whole grove of pomegranate trees. “The woman you saw is Lady Persephone, she is Hades’ new wife, and Queen.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Since when? And Queen how?” Even _he_ knew about Zeus, Hera, and their mess of a marriage; though after Semele all of that had drastically changed—not that the mortals knew. Would this be the same?

“A few days, as the surface would reckon it. And he has declared her his equal in all things, before the whole House and all of the Underworld. Her word is as his, as are her decisions. But, my child.” Mother turned, her hand rising up to brush his cheek. “None must know. Hecate has gone up with the Lampades, in the hopes of easing Demter. Should she, or anyone else find out, it will spark a new war. One worse than even the Titanomachy.”

“I understand.” The Olympians wouldn’t speak with him unless they were truly desperate anyways.

Mother’s lips were cool as she kissed his forehead. “Thank you, my child.”

-

The surface began to grow colder, the sunlight dimmer—making it almost tolerable. Cold, and eventually starvation, began to take the mortals in greater droves, making him even busier than he was used to.

Though he was in the House often enough to notice the changes Lady Persephone wrought in Lord Hades. Who barely even uttered a complaint over the Olympians resurrecting Pelops.

Eventually, in perhaps ways that might be worrying, his work grew slower. Perhaps the Olympians had decided to let Demeter’s cold kill off the mortals, allowing them to start over again with new ones.

So he was in residence in his usual spot when Orpheus came, and was grateful there was no one around to see Death learn to cry.

-

“Thanatos,” he turned to see the Queen at the door of the Lounge. Her belly swollen with pregnancy, a fact that had the whole House in a worried uproar. For the Fates had decreed Lord Hades would have no heirs, yet here the Queen was, expecting a child.

He floated over to her. “Yes, my Queen?”

“Would you walk with me?”

It was perhaps disrespectful to raise his eyebrows pointedly, because he did not _walk_. The queen laughed, however, so he likely wouldn’t get in trouble for it. “I mean I want to speak with you elsewhere.”

“Alright.”

She led him into the much grown garden, the plants flourishing under her attention and care. Lovingly, she ran her hand over the bark of a fig tree. “I wished to thank you, for being so kind and understanding. You and your whole family welcomed me here as if I were one of your own.”

He frowned. “You are,” he said it carefully. Not quite understanding _why,_ she was thanking him. He hadn’t felt as if he’d treated her any differently than he treated Lord Hades, he certainly didn’t feel he’d gone out of his way to be ‘kind’ and ‘understanding.’ Perhaps she was just being...generous in that way of hers she had.

“I hope,” she moved her hand from the tree to her belly. “You shall all be so with this child, when they come. They’ll certainly need all the family they can get.” She smiled. “I think they’ll do much better here than they would on Olympus, anyways.” Her smile turned wan.

“I do not see why I would not treat your child with the respect they deserve.” They’d be the Prince, or Princess, after all.

She laughed again. “I was hoping perhaps, you might be more like a friend. They will be a child alone here. Even I had friends, mortals and nymphs, who I grew up with when I was a child.”

“I have work, and Hypnos would be a better choice,” Thanatos pointed out. His brother had the luxury of performing his own work here in the House, while Thanatos could not do the same. Nevermind that his brother had always been more friendly and approachable. It didn’t bother Thanatos, Death wasn’t supposed to be _friendly_ after all.

“Perhaps,” the Queen agreed. “But…” She rubbed her hand over her belly. “I do not know whether this is a prophecy of sorts, or just a mother’s wish, but I would like to think, or perhaps _hope_ is better, that my child might call _you_ friend. What you are, Thanatos, does not mean you should be lonely.”

Ah, the Queen was trying to be helpful in that mortal-ish way of hers. “I thank you for your concern, my Queen. But I do not consider myself lonely.” He had Mother, and Hypnos—though they had drifted apart some. Even his friendship with Megaera, as sporadic as their meetings were. “As for the child, we shall see.”

There came a tug. “I must go.” He vanished. Perhaps a little grateful to escape the Queen’s worry. 

-

Thanatos was there when the Prince was born. It was not his first birth, it will not be his last.

Even half Titaness as she was, the Queen still screamed and writhed as she gave birth. Hades bore her clutching grasp with the same solemnity he did everything. Mother soothed her as she helped.

Eventually a squalling baby boy was born. The Queen accepted him, uncaring of blood or birthing fluid or the sparks flying from the boy’s feet, against her breast after Mother had cut the cord. “He’s beautiful.” She finally tore her gaze from the boy to look up at Lord Hades, who looked just as enchanted as his wife.

Carefully, ever so carefully—for Hades’ hand could have easily taken the babe into it and crushed it as a mortal might a grape—he reached out and rested a thumb atop the boy’s head. “Our son.”

Thanatos felt the world still, readying itself for what might come next.

“My heir.”

Atropos bit through the barely spun thread.

Thanatos swung his scythe.

The unnamed Prince died.

Screams and bellows chased Thanatos out of the House. Speaking as clear as words that he would no longer be welcome in the place he had always called Home.

-

He floated over the now ruined Asphodel Meadows—he had seen the Queen what felt like forever ago now, in Charon’s boat, hunched over in grief, too wrapped up in herself to notice the Phlegethon rising in the wake of the boat—wondering when Hades might attempt to seek him out. Thanatos did not wish to know which of them might win in the ensuing fight.

Darkness caught his eye. Twisting he saw his Mother, cloaked in Darkness. Which would hide her from everyone, except him—for Death could find anyone, anywhere. She held a bundle in her arms, along with a vial that had only the barest coating of blood on the inside.

Curious, he followed, all the way through Asphodel and even up through the almost too-bright ‘light’ of Elysium. Up to the surface, and the mouth of the Styx. Thanatos fell back, not wishing her ire as well for being spied upon.

He counted time by his heartbeats, _one hundred_ , then _two hundred_.

It was around three hundred that the screams of an infant reached his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, there'll be _actual_ ThanZag next chapter. Which'll be out next week.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for the in-game ThanZag romance (including some dialog)!
> 
> Well, it only took me _checks notes_ 25K to finally get to some sex in this series, but more importantly... _checks notes again_ it only took me 20K to give up on colors (I _cannot_ with the Ancient Greeks y'all).
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoy!

So, perhaps a little coldly, Thanatos was welcomed back into the House.

He expected Lord Hades to seek out Lady Persephone, that the miraculous resurrection of the Prince might repair what had been broken. Instead Lord Hades forbid the speaking of her name, and commanded them all to go with the lie that Nyx was the Prince’s, now Prince Zagreus, mother.

Lying did not sit well with Thanatos, in any capacity. But he knew his standing was narrow enough as it was, making things worse would not end well for him.

It was an unkind sort of thankfulness, but the winter had now been long enough that the mortals were dying in droves. So Thanatos didn’t have to think of how best to keep the lie, he was too busy working; just like he’d told the Queen.

Eventually though there was a lull, and Thanatos returned to the House, for he knew he could not avoid it forever. Nor did he want to, for everything he’d truly ever cared about was there.

He was in the West Hall, turning to likely head towards the Lounge, when something ran into his shins. _Someone_ he realized, looking down. The young Prince, already part way grown in the way of gods, in a dirty red chiton, fallen on his ass and rubbing his nose with a stuffed mouse.

Just looking at him was enough to tell he was not a child of Nyx, save for Eris they all look somewhat the same: golden eyed and white haired. But this boy had hair as dark as Erebus, and eyes that blazed red and green when he finally opened them.

Their eyes met, and Thanatos found himself changing.

A child’s shape was not exactly new to Thanatos, true he had never had one when he’d been hidden away _as_ a ‘child,’ but with Gigantes, and later humans, he had found he occasionally took on the guise of a child. Usually when dealing with children themselves. But this was the first time it had happened in the House.

Thanatos didn’t know if it was the Prince, already exerting some sort of Godly influence—Thanatos’ own age should’ve prevented that—or perhaps some hidden away guilt over being the cause of the Queen’s flight—and thus attempting to fulfill one of their last conversations. Either way, here he was, a child to all appearances.

Which caused the Prince to grin brightly. “Hi!” He finally managed to put himself back on his feet, the stone darkening slightly under them.

“Hello,” Thanatos replied more slowly.

Mother turned the corner, her expression growing fond. “Zagreus, my child, what happened?”

“I ran into Thanatos,” it was perhaps a little surprising the Prince already knew who he was. “He isn’t anything like Hypnos says he is.” Ah.

“Then you should apologize,” Mother said. Her hand came to rest on the Prince’s hair, fingers brushing against red laurel. “And watch where you are going next time, as I’m sure Master Achilles has told you, repeatedly.”

The Prince made a little face at that, but he stepped out from Mother’s hand until he was standing right in front of Thanatos. “I’m sorry, Than.” Thanatos started a little at the nickname. “Mother’s right, I should have looked where I was going.” His face scrunched again for a moment, then he was shoving the little stuffed mouse at Thanatos. “Here.”

“What is it?” His voice squeaked, which was going to take some getting used to. Gingerly Thanatos took it, staring down at the grey and yellow cloth. It had an amethyst for a nose.

“Its name is Mort,” The Prince said cheerily. “Mother says it’s a Chthonic Companion. It’s supposed to watch over you and keep you safe. I’ve got some others though, so you should have this one.”

Thanatos frowned down at the little mouse, not certain at all it could do any of that. Not that he _needed_ it in the first place.

“Thank Zagreus, for the gift, Thanatos.” Mother’s voice held a note of chiding.

A gift? It certainly wasn’t like any of the other gifts Thanatos had ever gotten. “Thank you?”

The Prince beamed.

-

So began their...friendship. Thanatos was not quite certain of it at the beginning, but Zagreus was hard to hate.

Despite that, Thanatos found himself being dragged to Zagreus’ lessons, when Zagreus could find him. As if their shared suffering might ease the pain of having to learn to read and write and do mathematics, or learn history and recitation, and on and on. None of which Thanatos felt he actually _needed_ to know, but did not truly fight going to either.

Any lessons he did miss Zagreus would haphazardly recite to him, likely getting more things wrong than right, but that he attempted it in the first place was...warming.

Perhaps more enjoyable, though equally useless in Thanatos’ mind, were their marital lessons with Achilles. Thanatos was _Death_ , he did not need to fight anyone—except a demi-god who took _xenia_ to an extreme, but that was only the once—but he went anyways. If only so Zagreus had someone to fight against.

They were...fun, in a way. Achilles was a good and patient teacher; nothing like what he’d once been when he first came to serve the House. Perhaps Thanatos won more than Zagreus did, but the Prince never complained of things being unfair, he only picked himself back up and insisted they go again. 

The only ‘lessons’ Thanatos were truly exempt from were Hades’ lectures.

-

They were ‘older’ now, and tucked away in a corner of Zagreus’ room, the Prince looking sullen. “Father hates me, doesn’t he, Than?”

What could Thanatos _say_ to that? Certainly not the truth: that the grief over losing the Queen had cicatrized into anger, which unfortunately spilled upon the Prince. But Thanatos would not lie either. “It’s complicated,” he hedged. Already knowing it would be an unsatisfactory answer.

“”He says my lessons will be over soon, and that he wants to put me to work in the Administrative Chamber.” Zagreus made a face. “I said I didn’t want to, and he said I was the heir, and I _would_ , whether I wanted to or not. Mother said I must abide by his word, though every part of me hates it.”

Thanatos knew Zagreus did well enough when those sorts of lessons had occurred, but he’d always preferred learning from Achilles. Even when it was unimportant things like swimming and horseback riding. “Lord Hades _is_ the King.”

“Well, apparently, one day _I’m_ going to be king, and I won’t make any of my children do anything they don’t want to.” Zagreus’ voice took on a bronze edge.

“That’s your right,” Thanatos agreed. Though he had to wonder how likely that would actually _be_. Hades was as deathless as his kin, it wasn’t as if old age would suddenly swoop down upon him, making him unable to rule. So why was Hades so adamant about it?

“Hey, Than?” Zagreus’ voice had softened.

A questioning sound left Thanatos.

“Do...do you still have Mort?”

Something inside Thanatos grew uncomfortable and spikey. “No,” the first lie he’d ever spoken. “I think I lost it.” The second lie. For Mort sat on an otherwise empty shelf in Thanatos’ own room, pristine despite the dust that covered the rest of his ‘home’—Mother would likely set the new cleaning Gorgon, Dusa, on it if she knew.

Zagreus’ face fell. “Oh, that’s too bad. I was kind of hoping I could see it again, even if we’re not really kids anymore.”

“Sorry,” was all Thanatos could say in response.

-

“Why did I lie?” Thanatos asked Meg later—it was _not_ a complaint, because Thanatos did _not_ complain. He must have been getting too used to his youthful shape, for being ‘himself’ again felt a little odd. But Meg usually refused to talk to him when he looked like a youth.

Meg snorted. “Why are you asking me? _You’re_ the one who’s decided to be friends with him.”

Thanatos, perhaps a little morosely, stared down at his wine. “He needed a friend.” And perhaps the Queen had been right, forever ago, that Thanatos needed one too.

-

“Hey, Than?” He and Zagreus sat together in the Lounge, the Prince looking glumly at his ink-stained fingers. From what Thanatos had heard from Hypnos, the Prince was doing quite poorly at his new ‘job’ and apparently getting worse with each shift.

“Hmm?” He stared down at his wine, perhaps a little unwilling to look at his friend—Thanatos found his thoughts had begun to wander in ways they never had before. And he did not wish to know where they might go if he stared too long at those darkened, thin fingers. Like they’d been stained, not with ink, but Thanatos’ own ichor.

Zagreus sighed, and Thanatos soon found his line of sight being taken up by half of Zagreus’ arm as the Prince draped his torso across the table. “When I was growing up, you weren’t really a child too, were you? Hypnos never looked like a child, and if you’re twins, that doesn’t make any sense.”

Thanatos stopped himself from snorting, because what use had gods for ‘sense’? Instead he finally picked up his glass, his arm brushed against Zagreus’—heat bloomed at the spot of contact—and took a sip to buy himself time to think.

He could say what he believed to be the truth, that it wasn’t all his doing. That the Prince’s will had pushed him to take on that child-like form, and ‘grow up’ with him. But Thanatos did not think Zagreus had completely done that intentionally, and to tell him all that would make his...friend feel guilty about a power he likely had no control over. “I wasn’t,” he finally said, because he could at least be honest about _that_.

“As to why,” because Thanatos already knew that would be Zagreus’ next question. “I didn't truly have a childhood, when I _was_ a child. So in a way I was...making up for lost time, seeing what all the fuss was about.” As he spoke it, he realized it _was_ true in a way. He could feel his cheeks staining black and he did his best to try and cover it with his hood.

“Oh,” Thanatos risked a glance to see Zagreus with a faint smile on his face. Thanatos looked away before it could tangle up his insides more than it already had. “Well, I’m... I guess I’m glad you were willing to put up with being friends with a child. I hope it didn’t feel too awful.”

“No. It wasn’t awful, Zagreus.”

-

There were a limited number of people Thanatos could speak with, regarding these strange thoughts in his head.

Meg was the least likely to put up with him asking, the two of them had perhaps only just made it from ‘coworkers’ to ‘friends,’ and she wasn’t interested in such things as far as Thanatos knew.

Hypnos might know more, and would certainly be willing to _talk_ about it. But Thanatos feared that even if he swore his brother to secrecy, Hypnos might forget and let it slip anyways. He kept the idea as a last resort, Hypnos might be less inclined to let his tongue wag if he were to swear upon the Styx first.

So, then, Thanatos’ only real choice was Mother.

As always, she was easy to find. “Thanatos,” she greeted warmly. Her smile soothing as shade.

“Mother.” He resisted the urge to twist his hands upon the shaft of his scythe, wanting to at least _appear_ his usual self. “I was hoping we might talk. Somewhere else?”

Nyx inclined her head towards the main entrance, the door opening, revealing the garden beyond. They’d all, technically, been forbidden from going in, but Thanatos couldn’t argue that it wouldn’t be _private_. He followed her, unsurprised the door closed quickly, preventing anyone else from following; save perhaps Lord Hades.

“What is it, my child?”

He let himself sink to the ground, the grass still somehow soft beneath his feet. Even though the Queen was long gone, the section of garden they were in still appeared quite lush and alive. “I...How…” A million ways to ask what he wanted tangled in his throat, each preventing another from escaping.

Mother clearly sensed the root of his confusion, she cupped his cheeks and her lips pressed against his forehead, washing it all away and leaving a comforting peace in its wake. “Oh, my child. Affection and love are confusing for everyone, at least at first.”

“Love?” It came out something like a squawk, much to his displeasure. “I don’t...that is...How do you know? I’ve never...felt anything like this before.” Let alone anything resembling what he’d heard described of such things as love or lust. 

“It is different for everyone, and does not come when expected, if at all. What I have felt from you, if you could describe it to someone else, would be called love by them.”

“Aphrodite or Eros hold no power here.” It sounded more like faint protest when he finished saying it.

Mother laughed, if kindly. “Oh, Thanatos, they do not _control_ love. Only...nudge it along as it suits them. What will you do?”

“What _can_ I do?” He had, on occasion, watched mortals copulate, and hadn’t quite understood the _why_ of it. How could he even know if Zagreus felt the same? He didn’t feel as if Zagreus treated him any differently from anyone else.

“You can do nothing,” Mother answered. “Though it will hurt, and it is perhaps an unkind thing to refuse such feelings. You can tell the person,” —he was certain Mother knew who it was, but was kindly not saying—“and hope that they feel the same. That is the best way. Perhaps give them a gift, to help show your feelings.”

He nodded slowly, though he felt that strange tangled-spiky sensation inside him at the thought of _telling_ Zagreus.

A familiar tug. “I must go.” It was almost a relief really.

-

Except, when he returned to the House, it was to find things had changed all of the sudden, again.

Meg and Zagreus were _together_.

So Thanatos said nothing.

-

Well, not nothing-nothing. 

He and Meg were having one of their little chats, some time later, and he found himself blurting out: “Why are you with the Prince?”

Meg didn’t answer right away, instead shrugging and running her nail along the rim of her glass. “I was bored,” she finally said.

“That doesn’t sound like a good reason.” Not according to what Mother had seemed to suggest. He frowned.

Another shrug. “It’s not,” she agreed. “But I don’t think he asked _me_ for a good reason either. I think he’s trying to show Lord Hades he’s no good and useless. In the hopes it might win him... _something_.” She snorted. “Which it won’t, but…” She drifted off, and seemed uninclined to continue.

Thanatos didn’t press.

-

Thanatos didn’t get much time to brood upon it. Some of the desperate City States decide to band together and attempt to raid Kemet, in the hopes of getting enough to help them survive just a little longer.

Desperation meant he saw more of Ares than Athena, and the Keres didn’t seem to mind the change of scenery. And despite them being on opposite sides of this ‘war,’ if one were feeling generous enough to call it that, Anubis wasn’t the _worst_ fellow death-bringer.

By the time Thanatos _did_ make it back to the House, he found it was in something of an uproar. Somehow he managed to hear first that Meg and Zagreus were no longer together—though no one would speak of _why_ , likely for fear of Meg—but it soon became overshadowed by the fact that Zagreus was _gone_ , attempting to flee to the surface.

Thanatos...Thanatos didn’t know what to do. His insides were tangled up and _ached_. _‘How could you? How could you?’_ Repeated in his mind, the whole of him unable to comprehend _why_. What could the surface offer but cold and misery? Zagreus was unhappy with the work he had? Well they’d _all_ been unhappy, ever since the Queen left, Thanatos realized with a start. So what made Zagreus so special in that regard?

Happiness and the Underworld weren’t the sort of things that went together, anyways. If everything that had happened so far was any indication.

Eventually he found Zagreus, cloaked in shadow, but yet _glowing_ with the sort of light one only saw on Olympus. The tangle and ache turned sharp and painful, how could he turn to the family who gave little care to anything? That they all seemed content to just let Demeter continue her killing winter proof enough, if one needed it.

Somehow he managed to speak, to issue a challenge. Thanatos didn’t even know what he’d be proving if he _won_. He only just…

The shades began to arrive, and Thanatos let himself not think.

Only for thought to return when it was all over—he’d won. “You left, without so much as telling me good-bye. I suppose you knew I’d catch up with you sooner or later, is that it?” Bitterness filled his voice at the truth of it. Even hidden as Zagreus was, Thanatos had still found him, after all. “No escaping death, and all?” He felt scraped raw, and was certain Zagreus could see everything.

“I left when it was necessary, Than.” That edge of bronze was back, Zagreus’ face set in the sort of determination Thanatos had never really seen before. “I thought of you and hoped you’d understand. I have to do this.”

As if that would be enough to make it right. “That’s more motivation than I’ve ever heard from you,” Thanatos had to admit. “Well, if you won’t say it, I’ll say it. Good-bye, Zagreus.” He vanished back to his room.

He grabbed Mort in his hands, ready to tear the mouse to shreds. Because what did anything matter, apparently? Certainly not their friendship, or Thanatos’ feelings, unspoken as they were.

Before he could do the deed, the too-familiar tug again. He tucked Mort into the folds of his chiton. He could always throw it into the Nile if nothing else.

-

“He’s what, not even fifty yet?” Anubis asked between quaffs of beer—which should look strange with his wolf’s head, but Thanatos guessed if you’d had it all your life it wasn’t strange at all. “We all act up when we’re younger.”

The two of them were sitting on the banks of the Nile, around them lay wolves and Keres, a few of the latter bold enough to curl up in Thanatos’ own lap and fall asleep. “I didn’t act up,” Thanatos pointed out. Not that there’d really been any way to, he had to admit to himself.

Anubis snorted. “No offense to you, Thanatos, but you’re also a bit of a stick in the mud.” He shrugged. “But some people like that, for reasons I cannot understand. So by the Void and all that’s holy, just fucking _say_ what you want to say to him. You’re right that there’s no gonna be much for him up in your little pocket of the world, and maybe knowing that there’s someone who _wants_ him might help convince him to stay.”

Thanatos drank his own beer, not exactly convinced, but uninterested in arguing.

-

He returned to the House, only to find that Zagreus had _succeeded_. He had defeated Hades up on the surface, and somehow found his mother. Only to be pulled back down to the Underworld. If Zagreus had died, he would have known, right? Even if it had been a violent one?

Yet despite that setback, Zagreus still wanted to reach the surface _again_. More things that Thanatos did not understand.

Another little contest, one which Zagreus won. The centaur heart was easy to summon, and Thanatos began to leave, still perhaps too hurt to try and say anything.

Only to be stopped by Zagreus. “Than, wait.” He turned to see Zagreus rooting around in his chiton, before pulling out a small glass bottle. “It isn’t much, Than, but I got you something.”

Thanatos took it, frowning. Nectar? But why? Why give him something like this if Zagreus was just going to keep trying to escape? As if this would be enough to try and make up for all of that. A part of him pointed out that wasn’t fair to Zagreus, who didn’t _know_ about Thanatos’ inner turmoil. Thanatos didn’t exactly _want_ to be fair, however.

Zagreus still stood there, rocking back and forth on his feet. Clearly unable to even _stand_ still, and just as clearly expecting a response of some sort.

Anubis had said to just tell him, Mother had said to give gifts. Thanatos...Thanatos could do a gift. “You want me to take that off your hands, fine.” He tucked the nectar away, before reaching up to his shoulder. “But you are taking this from me, and if anyone asks, we’re even. Or, scratch that, don’t tell anyone about this, understand?” He unpinned the butterfly brooch, shoving it at Zagreus before glancing away. Insides twisting at the feel of too-warm fingers brushing against him as the brooch was taken.

“Really, Than? I’ve never seen you without this.” Zagreus sounds suitably awed. Like he might really consider it a gift.

“When have I ever not meant something?” He replied gruffy. He vanished before Zagreus could respond, too tangled up and embarrassed to find out how he might respond.

-

Anubis cackled. “Void, you’re _awful_ at this. That’s not a gift, Thanatos, that’s an _exchange_.”

“Shut. Up.” Honestly he was as bad as Hypnos sometimes.

-

The problem was the nectars kept coming. They collected on Thanatos’ dusty shelves, he knew he was supposed to _drink_ them, but why? It didn’t help that Zagreus seemed to be giving them to _everyone_. How was Thanatos supposed to interpret that? Besides feeling a little grateful he’d shoved that brooch on Zagreus; it perhaps lessened the sting a little, but didn’t help with the confusion.

Zagreus still kept trying for the surface, trying to convince his mother to return. Thanatos would call both futile, except well, he kept making it to the surface, and maybe who won the fight up there was fifty-fifty, but that still meant half the time Zagreus saw his mother.

Thanatos was afraid to ask how Zagreus kept ending up back in the Underworld.

-

“Hey, Than.” They were at the House this time. The ‘war’ in Kemet was dying out, and Thanatos found himself with more free time to just...be, he guessed. Which wasn’t helping him figure out anything about, well, _this_. He turned to see Zagreus standing there, a much larger bottle in his hands. “For all the times you’ve bailed me out, and just, all the times you’ve been around for me...I thought I’d get you this. The real thing.” Was Zagreus’ smile a little warmer than usual? Or was Thanatos imagining things?

“Ambrosia!” The bottle was almost as warm to the touch as Zagreus himself was. “Zagreus, where did you even...don’t you think this is a bit excessive?” He couldn’t be giving _these_ to everyone, could he? Did that mean he maybe...

“You say that like it’s a bad thing?” Zagreus’ smile turned to a cocky grin, distracting Thanatos from his tangled thoughts. “Little bit of excess from time to time never hurt anyone, I’m sure.”

 _“Oh_ , you would be surprised.” Before the winter, excess had caused more than a few deaths. In more ways than one. “Though if you’re going to embarrass me, you know what, I am going to reciprocate.” His free hand went into his chiton, easily finding Mort, still undestroyed. He held it out, wondering if perhaps this was actually more embarrassing for _him_.

“What, Thanatos, is this, you’re really giving Mort to me?” Zagreus took it with the same reverence he’d seemed to take the butterfly, what felt like forever ago now. “I thought…you said you’d lost him.”

Thanatos could feel his cheeks darkening. “Well, I found him again,” not exactly a lie. “Do you want him or not?”

Zagreus yanked Mort to his chest when Thanatos made to grab him back. “Oh no, I _am_ keeping him.” He looked down fondly at the mouse, finger glancing around the edge of the amethyst nose. “Thank you, Than.” Zagreus’ odd eyes were too intense for Thanatos to meet. “I promise to take good care of him.”

Somehow, Thanatos managed a “good,” before he vanished.

-

Thanatos was up on the surface, collecting a soul—the human he collected it from looked almost as ephemeral and flimsy as her soul—when he felt a... _tug_. Nothing like the one he’d grown used to.

He followed the tug, the soul likely wouldn’t mind the detour, only to find Zagreus on the other end. One of Mort’s ears peeking out from red fabric. “This is taking care of him?” Thanatos found himself asking as he obliterated some of the shades Zagreus had been fighting.

“Who doesn’t like to go on an adventure?” Zagreus grinned back, teeth bloody.

Thanatos found himself discomfited at the image of him swooping down to clean that blood off, with his tongue.

“Try to stay out of trouble,” Thanatos said instead. Vanishing back to the Styx to drop off the soul.

-

And then things changed all of the sudden, again.

The Queen returned, Zagreus’ desperate attempts at escape became a _job_.

He kept giving Ambrosia to Thanatos—who was perhaps only a little annoyed to discover he wasn’t the only one receiving it—until admitting that maybe, he _liked_ Thanatos.

Which baffled Thanatos so much, that he barely even realized Zagreus had said he’d be willing to wait, before Thanatos vanished once more.

Perhaps not Thanatos’ best moment, but he felt it was perhaps quite warranted considering, well, _everything_.

Except, the words kept nagging at him, and maybe, maybe Thanatos was tired of waiting...

-

It had felt like forever since Thanatos was last in Zagreus’ room. It wasn’t quite as Thanatos recalled it. Oh the bed was still a mess, but there was a lyre now tucked into the corner. The mirror of darkness that now took up a whole wall could have only come from Mother. Walking up to the entryway, Thanatos carefully dragged his finger across the Mnemosyne pool Zagreus had managed to acquire as well.

Footsteps behind him made Thanatos turn around before he could discover what memory it would show him.

Zagreus started, but it turned into a warm smile. “Thanatos! I’d ask you to come in, but...you’re already here. It’s really good to see you.” He took a few steps closer, but seemed content to leave some distance between them, as if not wanting to crowd Thanatos.

For a change, Thanatos found he perhaps wanted to be crowded. “Just tell me one thing, Zagreus. Did you really mean what you told me before, that...maybe we ought to...take our time?” The thought that Thanatos might finally speak his own feelings almost made his throat tighten. _How_ should he say it? _When_?

“I just...don’t mean to push you, Than.” Zagreus shuffled a little, clearly embarrassed. “I know all of this is kind of a lot. And I wanted you to know...this isn’t some impulsive thing for me. I’ll wait for you however long it takes.”

“You have no concept of which impulses to act upon, and which to keep in check,” Thanatos managed to hold in the laugh that wanted to escape at Zagreus’ words, knowing it wouldn’t be taken well. “You say you’ll wait, well, let me ask you this: What are you waiting for? What are you waiting for, I’m here, already. Right?” His cheeks darkened at the plaintive note in his voice, and he could feel the urge to disappear growing.

Only to be halted by Zagreus’ warm hand on his arm. “Than…” Before Thanatos could say anything, Zagreus surged up and they were _kissing_.

Oh. So _this_ was what it was like.

He had no idea what to do with his mouth, so was content to follow Zagreus’ lead. But he did find his hands moving up to cup Zagreus' face, cold fingers greedily soaking up the heat they found there.

When they finally broke apart, Zagreus was smiling so brightly that he could have outshone the sun. “So, just so we’re on the same page, you like me too?” There was a hopeful note in his voice.

“Yes,” despite his exasperated tone, Thanatos couldn’t help but smile back. “For quite some time, I think.”

“ _Thanatos_ ,” Zagreus groaned, he pitched forward, until his forehead was resting against Thanatos’ winged pauldron. “Why didn’t you _say_ anything?”

Thanatos knew he didn’t have to hide his blushing anymore, but he was still a little grateful that Zagreus couldn’t see it right now. “I...I didn’t understand what this was, at first. It’s not as if I’ve ever felt this way before,” somehow he managed to get the words out, the world’s greatest miracle. “Then you and Meg, then well, you trying to escape _hurt_. And, well, I wasn’t the only person you were giving nectar and Ambrosia to, so how was I to know it meant anything special until you said so? That’s why.”

Zagreus tilted his head, allowing him to look sidelong at Thanatos, a grin tugging at his lips. “Never felt anything like this before?” He sounded far too pleased with himself.

“Yes, Zagreus,” Thanatos let out a fond, if exasperated sigh—knowing full well Zagreus had heard all of it, but had decided to focus on _that_. “It is not as if people are rushing left and right to court me.”

“Good, I’m not interested in sharing you. Unless you and Meg…”

Thanatos shook his head. “I think we’ll only ever be friends.” It didn’t surprise him that Zagreus asked about it. He’d seen the smiles Meg had tried to hide recently. “I think I can handle sharing _you_ , however,” Thanatos didn’t know where this low, growling tone of his came from. But the way Zagreus’ eyes widened and his breath quickened, well, Thanatos was sure he would use it again.

“Good,” Zagreus sounded breathless. “I mean…”

Which was how Thanatos discovered kisses were an excellent way to get people to stop talking.

-

“Thanatos.” He looked up at the Queen’s voice. “Walk with me?” Her cheek dimpled at the joke.

He let out a breath of a laugh, but followed. Unsurprised they ended up in the garden. Without thought he took the dates she picked from a nearby tree and offered. He ate them slowly as he waited for her to speak.

“Thank you, for all you’ve done for my son. I’m glad he has you for a friend, and lover.” It didn’t surprise him that she somehow already knew, it wasn’t as if he and Zag were trying to keep it quiet the way Meg was. “I’m glad he’s happy, even if I wasn’t there to see most of it.” She leaned against the tree, the branches rustling as they tried to move closer to her.

“There will be other happy moments that you’ll get to see.” Thanatos offered. Dwelling on the past must be a mortal thing, For Thanatos has never felt inclined to wonder ‘what if.’ “And even knowing you’ll have to leave, he’s far happier now than I can recall him being before you returned.”

She smiled. “You can be quite comforting, when you wish to be, Thanatos.” Reaching out she patted his cheek, her skin sunwarmed, even down here. “I think I shall look forward to many happy moments with this family of ours.”

-

The Queen left, but only for a span of six months this time, not forever. Not anymore.

Zagreus still tested security, Thanatos still went and challenged him from time to time. They spent time together, as they always had before. Though now it involved more kissing and touching than before.

At the moment, Thanatos waited in his little corner of the West Hall, not at all surprised to see Zagreus had added even more decorations.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the Styx churn. Zagreus began to rise out, blood slicking from him, only to stop halfway, grinning at Thanatos before diving right back into the Styx and swimming towards him.

“Hi,” Zag smiled as he half-hoisted himself out of the river, muscles bunching as he settled his weight against the bannister. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Thanatos rolled his eyes. “Are you staying long?”

Zagreus looked up and up and up at him, one of his now dry hands reaching to curl around Thanatos ankle, the warmth of the touch creeping up. “I could be convinced,” he said. “No one’s in the Hall, Father’s gone off...somewhere.” Zag grinned. “There’s a convenient couch right there…”

“No.” Thanatos rolled his eyes. “Someone could see.” The Administration Chamber was _right_ _there_ still. Thanatos didn’t know _why_ he didn’t like the thought of someone watching him and Zag together—the opposite certainly wasn’t true—but it very much did. “The Garden?” With the Queen gone, and apparently Lord Hades as well, no one was likely to be there. And there were certainly more places where a couple could tuck themselves away and be well hidden.

“Yes,” Zagreus answered. He released the bannister, falling back into the river with a splash. “See you there!” Thanatos didn’t follow right away, watching Zag instead as he swam.

He vanished from his spot in the Hall, only to reappear in the Garden. Thanatos even let himself sink to the ground, the grass tickling his feet as he walked through it. “Zag?” He called out, not sure where his lover might be. Around him trees hung heavy with fruit, the scents heady.

“Back here, Than,” Zag’s voice floated from further ahead.

Once he’d gotten through the trees, it was easy to spot Zag. Sprawled out on a stone bench amidst the roses, all his armor and even his tights were gone. Leaving him only in his chiton. “A bit heavy handed, don’t you think?” He teased lightly as he came to a stop next to Zag. Finally letting his eyes roam where they wished.

Zag opened an eye, his green one. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Than, mate.”

Thanatos let himself laugh, sinking to his knees so he could rest his head on Zag’s chest, the rapid but steady beat of his mortal-enough heart right in Thanatos’ ear. “You know _exactly_ what I’m talking about, Zagreus.” He moved a hand to rest on Zag’s bare knee, feeling him shiver and tense under the light, cool touch. “Roses, you half-naked, one might think you wished to be ravished…” He let his breath glide against Zag’s skin, even as he dragged his fingers a little higher until he could feel fabric.

“Maybe,” Zag’s voice didn’t sound steady anymore. “You’re just _very_ good at reading me?” Both his eyes were wide, and a blush had reddened his cheeks. It was almost enough to pull Thanatos away from the sound of Zag’s heart, the rise and fall of his chest.

“Perhaps,” Thanatos allowed. He moved his fingers up further, easily finding Zagreus’ cock, already hard and wonderfully hot. Zag let out a stuttered whimper as Thanatos wrapped his fingers around it. “ _This_ certainly says a lot.”

Zag tried to laugh, but it quickly turned into a gasp as Thanatos turned his head to drag his tongue against Zag’s exposed nipple. He continued to drag his tongue upwards, keeping his touch on Zag’s cock light, until he reached Zag’s shoulder. Without hesitation he sank his teeth deep into the muscle.

Zagreus moaned, a good compliment to the hot and coppery taste of his mortal blood. Thanatos released his shoulder, pulling away enough to look down at his Prince. Who was perhaps trying to look a little smug. “You and Meg both, it’s just blood.”

“ _Your_ blood,” Thanatos said absently. Fair was fair, Zagreus was _quite_ interested in Thanatos’ black ichor and Meg’s purple blood. 

He tightened his grip on Zag’s cock, watching him arch and hiss. He released it, which got him an equally visceral response. “On your knees.” Thanatos rose from his own, taking his own time in undressing. Enjoying the way it made Zag squirm, the way those eyes intently consumed everything Thanatos offered.

The bench was still warm from Zag’s body as Thanatos sat down on the end. “Here.” He parted his legs enough to give Zagreus plenty of room to settle between them.

Still on his knees, Zag shuffled over, eyes seemingly glued to Thanatos’ own cock. He rested his head on Thanatos’ knee, eying it still, but not moving closer. Thanatos reached out, fingers trailing along the flush of blood still in Zagreus’ cheeks. “What do you want, my Prince?”

“All of you,” Zagreus breathed, eyes fluttering shut and head tilting into Thanatos’ touch. “Whatever you’ll give me.”

Normally such a vague answer wasn’t what Thanatos wanted, but he felt Zag-warmed already and he could be generous. He moved his fingers from Zag’s cheek to his hair, grasping both it and his wreath tight enough to make Zag shudder.

As he guided Zag closer, he felt warm hands settle on his knees. “Only your mouth, my Prince.” As much as he liked the touch, he didn’t want to give Zag that much control.

The hands fell back down to Zag’s sides. “Sorry, Thanatos,” he moaned. Letting himself be led closer.

“Good, Prince Zagreus.” He pressed the tip of his cock against plush lips that parted at the touch, welcoming him inside a perfect wet heat.

Zagreus bobbed his head, tongue rubbing against the vein. Without thought Thanatos adjusted his grip, preventing Zag from moving his head again. His Prince gave a whine of complaint, one Thanatos cut off by shoving himself deeper into Zagreus’ mouth.

A moan vibrated all around him, drawing an answering pleased hum from Thanatos. Zagreus’ eyes had closed again, his skin even more flush than before; his jaw had slackened, but he kept up the stroking of his tongue, as if to encourage Thanatos deeper. Who was Thanatos to resist such an entreaty from his Prince?

He rocked his hips at the same time he pushed Zagreus’ head down, seating himself fully inside Zag’s mouth and throat. Who let out a string of muffled sounds, the vibrations shivering through Thanatos. One of the hands holding Zag down turned soothing, petting his Prince’s soft hair as he counted out seconds; knowing how long he could keep Zag there before it became a problem.

Pulling Zag’s head off a few seconds before he reached the end, he was rewarded with a disappointed sound. Zagreus still opened his mouth happily when Thanatos lowered his head again, giving him only the tip to lick and suck.

He stared down at Zagreus, a different sort of warmth filling him up, blood and darkness, he really did love this god.

Tightening his grip he shoved Zagreus head down again.

Orgasm came fast, but his Prince didn’t seem to mind, if the sounds he was making were any indication. Thanatos kept holding his head down, counting out ten seconds past his cutoff, as a reward.

So when he finally released Zagreus, his lover shivered and panted, pupils blown and eyes half-lidded as he rested his head on Thanatos’ thigh.

“Zagreus?” He stroked fingers against a too-hot blush.

“Mmmfin,” Zag answered hoarsely a few heartbeats later. He nuzzled Thanatos’ thigh almost sleepily. “Liked that.”

Thanatos felt his lips quirk. “Good. I see you already came, as well.” The spot on Zag’s chiton was a bit unmistakable.

Somehow Zagreus’ blush deepened. “Yeah, s’fine, _philotatos_ ,” he pressed an openmouthed kiss against Thanatos’ skin. He always got unbearably sweet in his post-coital haze. “You like it?”

“Yes,” he answered, hands absently petting Zagreus’ hair.

“Good,” Zagreus hummed. “ _Philotatos, Hegetes, Aristi Cthonia_.”

Thanatos could feel himself darkening at the worshipful epitaphs. The words dripped into him, honey-thick, drawing out his own orgasmic haze. Even so there was a part of him that wanted to leave, push Zagreus away and just vanish. He wasn’t a god, what did he deserve such worships for?

He didn’t vanish, but he did eventually, if half-heartedly, shove his hand against Zagreus’ mouth, cutting him off. “Enough. I’m hardly going to be the terror of mortals if I can’t stop smiling.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with that,” Zagreus answered after he’d shoved Thanatos’ hand away.

Rolling his eyes, Thanatos pulled Zagreus up for a kiss. “Ridiculous.”

-

The Queen returned, and Zagreus spent more time with her in the Gardens, clearly intent on pulling his own weight with the plants she’d brought back for him. Not that Thanatos had been allowed to see them yet, Zagreus clearly plotting _something_.

Which seemed to come to a head when he spotted Zagreus, arms full of what looked like red flowers, disappearing into his room.

Thanatos made to follow, only to be stopped by a handful of Lampades. “Have a drink with us,” one of them—he didn’t know her name, having never gotten all that close with any of them—giggled.

He frowned down at them all, gently pushing one away when she got to close. “Thank you, but no.”

He tried to push past them, but they held firm. “Sorry, Master Thanatos,” one of them said. “But Prince Zagreus asked us to distract you,” she offered it by way of apology.

A sigh left him. He knew the Lampades weren’t as vapid as they seemed to enjoy appearing, but he didn’t quite find himself enthused by the thought of being around them for too long. The whole idea exhausting even to think about. “If I promise to not go near him, will you not try so hard to ‘distract’ me?”

“Ladies,” Hecate spoke from the Lounge doorway before they could respond. “Give my brother some peace. I think I shall suffice in this ‘distraction’ the Prince seeks.”

He gave her a weary smile as the Lampades departed. “Thank you.”

She smiled, bending down to kiss his head. “Of course, little brother. We have not had much chance to talk, you and I, since I returned.” She pulled away and he watched her speak with the head chef, returning with goblets of mead. “It is good to see you again, and to know that you are doing well.”

Thanatos felt his cheeks darken as he took a sip. “It is good to see you again too, Hecate.” He’d only ever caught glimpses of her when on the surface, and with her spending most of her time with Demeter, well Thanatos had avoided _her_ out of fear she might ask about Persephone. “And yes, I am...well.”

“A little bit more than ‘well,’ little brother. Love is a good look on you, you were such a solemn Death when we were younger.”

“There was not much to be happy about,” he pointed out.

She inclined her head in agreement. “True, though after the Lampades arrived, you could have easily sought companionship with them. The Prince seems to think you quite handsome. As your elder sister, I am, of course, biased against that.” She grinned.

“Why?” He stared at her blankly. “I did not desire such a thing, so why would I have sought it out?”

Hecate laughed. “Thousands of years, and yet we still do not know each other wholly.” She reached out and tapped his nose. “Some would think that a failing, but it is a blessing, I think. For once the world, the mortals, each other, ceases to surprise us, we shall become as our Titan cousins were. A fate we all wish to avoid.”

“I, I do not think that shall be a problem, for me,” he replied slowly. “Zagreus is…”

Another laugh from Hecate, this one much softer. “I’m sure Aphrodite would be pleased to know love is the greatest surprise of all.”

-

“Close your eyes.” Zagreus’ voice sounded behind him.

Thanatos closed his eyes then turned himself around, wondering what Zag had planned this time.

He heard a brief rustling, before Zag took a deep breath. “Alright, you can open your eyes.”

Opening them, he found Zag standing there, a pleased expression on his face as he held in his hands… A wreath, of poppies. “Mother showed me how to make them eternal, so they won’t wilt or discolor, anything like that.” He offered it up again, entreatingly.

With the care Thanatos would give a soul, he took it. The bloody red petals with their black eyes soft against his fingers, the green stalks completely hidden by blooms, which true to Zagreus’ word look as if they’d been freshly picked. Lifting it up to his face, he inhaled: only the barest hint of that off burnt scent.

“Zagreus…” What could he say? For what felt like the first time in Thanatos’ life, his fingers trembled as he set it on his head. Except for the odd tickle, he barely felt it, and even that faded after time. “I...thank you.”

With that outshine-the-sun smile on his face, Zagreus tugged him close. “You deserve it Than.” He kissed Thanatos’ cheek. “Now you’ll have a bit of me with you always, too.”

-

Thanatos could feel Hypnos eyeing his new wreath the moment he came around the corner. “You,” he narrowed his eyes in warning. “Are not having this.”

“Not even one poppy?” Hypnos wheedled. “I mean the ones on my belt are just fine, but those’re the _real thing_.”

“If you want one so bad, then go up to the surface, no one’s stopping you,” he replied easily. “The ones in the Garden are mine too, so don’t get any ideas.” The thought warmed him, to realize that Zagreus had _grown flowers_ for _him_.

Thanatos needed to think of something he could give in return.

He barely even heard Hypnos’ “Awww, man,” as he drifted away, lost in thought.

-

For what might have been the first time in Thanatos’ life, he went up onto the surface of his own free will.

Winter hadn’t _quite_ come yet, Demeter deciding to be generous, but there was a chill in the air that was familiar now as Thanatos flew through it. What could he get from the surface that Zagreus would like?

More plants seemed the obvious answer, so Thanatos decided that would be a last resort if necessary. Mortal weapons were nothing compared to those of the Cyclopes, except maybe as a curiosity, so those were out. Jewelry also felt wrong, as much as Zag might like it, they had the whole wealth of the Underworld, what were mortal wealths to that?

He found himself nearing a city anyways. Farmers hard at work on the outskirts, harvesting as quickly as they could, clearly fearful that Demeter might change her mind. He found himself hovering over a hop field for a few moments, bemused by the song the workers were singing.

He was soon distracted by a flash of red and gray, he found himself turning towards it without thought, seeking out whatever it was.

It took him quite some time before he saw it again, and he acted quickly before it could disappear. Diving and scooping it up as carefully as he could so as not to kill it.

Once he was back up in the air he opened his hands to actually get a good look at what _it_ was. He found himself smiling when he realized what it was. Perfect.

-

He had the sense to at least wait until Zagreus was done with his current run to try and give him his gift. Thanatos resisted the urge to fidget as he half-listened to Zagreus and Nyx have a conversation close by. Much to Thanatos’ surprise the fact that he knew Zagreus would have to come into his room _eventually_ , did not make the waiting easier.

Finally he could hear approaching footsteps, the recently installed door closing behind Zagreus as he entered. Who brightened when he saw Thanatos. “Than, I thought you were out.”

“No, I wanted to surprise you.” Than found himself smiling.

Moreso when Zag raised his eyebrows, approaching slowly. “Surprise?”

“Yes,” Thanatos managed to say, feeling his cheeks darkening. “I wanted to get you a gift,” he found himself recalling Anubis’ comments from months ago. “And not an...exchange.”

“I didn’t think those were exchanges,” Zag said slowly. “I do consider Mort and your brooch gifts, Than. Not that I’m going to say no to _this_ gift, but being clear, right?” He took a seat on his bed, patting the space next to him.

Thanatos sat, almost glad to do so, fairly certain at this point his whole face was purple-black. “Good.” And he _wasn’t_ going to tell that to Anubis the next time they met. “Ah, here.” Carefully he opened his hands, revealing his gift.

Zagreus stared at it for a few tense seconds. “You know, this is the first time a butterfly _hasn’t_ attacked me.” Thanatos would’ve replied, but before he could the butterfly opened it’s wings, making Zag let out a little gasp. “Oh.”

It’s mostly red wings contrasted starkly with the black, cream, and blue markings. As if to show itself off the butterfly fanned it’s wings. Zagreus began to reach out.

“Don’t touch it’s wings,” Thanatos found himself warning. “They’re...easily broken. If you hold out your hand though, it might move onto it.”

Halting his movements, Zagreus instead just held his hand out. The butterfly didn’t move however, not until Thanatos encouraged it over. “Sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?” Zag frowned. “I quite agree with this butterfly, being in your hands is _quite_ nice.”

With his hands now free, Thanatos yanked his hood deeper over his head. “This type of butterfly drinks nectar, the stuff from flowers _not_ what we drink,” he added quickly. “Um, I’m not quite sure how long it will live. Though I’ve...seen some butterflies drink blood before, so perhaps if you gave it some of yours it might live longer...like my poppies.”

It was...quite funny to see Zagreus carefully move his hand up so he could look the butterfly in the ‘eye.’ “So you _are_ just as bloodthirsty as the butterflies down here, good to know.” He must have somehow disturbed the butterfly, for it leapt off his hand, fluttering around the room before landing on a book.

Zagreus turned to Thanatos, just as carefully tugging down his hood. Warm hands settling on his dark cheeks, guiding his head down until their foreheads were touching. “Thank you, Thanatos. It’s a lovely gift.”

“You are welcome, I’m...glad you like it. And I hope you’ll enjoy the other gifts I have to give you...in the future.”

“Than.” Zagreus fell back onto his bed, taking Thanatos with him. “If it’s from you, I will _definitely_ enjoy it.” He managed to flip them, so that he was on top. “Now, just lay there, and let me enjoy _you_ , alright?”

“Alright,” Thanatos agreed. Content to let Zagreus have some control, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The butterfly Than gives Zag is a [peacock butterfly.](https://images.app.goo.gl/bcnJFrfdaaXGRTcN6) And yes, some species of butterflies and moths _will_ drink blood if they're lacking in their usual food sources.
> 
> I should have part five out soonish. Hope to see you then!


End file.
